Love My Happiness!!!

Today, I woke up smiling! amazing isn't it? Today I knew would be a great day. I wanna say something to my friend Erin, I love her. She's just so Great! She can always make me smile. I'm so glad she's in my life right now! And I also wanna say something to my friend Danielle. She's always there for me when I'm down. My friends are just.... There's not any other people like them. I'm going to be conceded for a moment... YOU CAN"T HAVE THEM!!! haha I love My friends Erin and Danielle.

Sunshine and Friends

Today it was really sunny. I went to a wedding yesterday. it was really beautiful. But anyways today we went to the park, me and three friends of mine went. It was all good till I started getting really irritated. So we came home and I started coloring (I know, who youngish of a fifteen year old), anyways, i was using these color pencils and my friend walks up and starts yelling at me for using them because she was using them two days ago. Messed up? I know. Sometimes I doubt that were even friends you know? I mean my treatment graduation is really important to me, and ever since we hit the one month left, she's been acting really, odd. Can you tell me why? I can't seem to figure it out. I'm lost when it comes to our friendship. My other friends are proud of me, why can't she be? Why can't she just tell me how she feels? It's starting to kinda make me angry. Well, its almost dinner and I need to go blog about something else. Please comment why you think she's acting this way, or email me at luarissatwyford@gmail.com thank you.

Blogging/Venting

Something I don't get is when people get blogs to blog about life then leave there blog there and don't even like cancel the account. That bugs me only because when you really like their blogs and you want to comment but you look at their last post date, and it was FOREVER ago and so now you don't want to comment because you know that they will never see that comment unless they finally remember their lost blogging account. Does that bug you too? I don't really know why, that bugs me so much but it does. I wonder why... Maybe you can help me figure it out?

Cake?

I just made a cake for my class! its amazing. I love the way it looks... Its a double chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and strawberry's and sprinkles... Comment some of your favorite cakes and recipes and maybe I'll make them... I really love cooking!

I love you!

I Love You!! <3

Boyfriends

Today, my boyfriends cousin said that me and my boyfriend need to sleep together. Can you see how confusing that might be? We've been dating for almost 4 months. Amazing? I know. I really hope it really doesn't end. I can honestly say that I love him. especially because of how many times I've dated. That's him in my profile picture. Him me and my baby sister. That was before I dyed my hair and pierced my lip though.
His name is William.
When I see him, my heart stops. He's my world. His eyes are a amazingly beautiful shade of brown. His smile, well that's contagious! I wonder if he ever thinks about me when he's home... I hope so. Do you guys think we should sleep together? Only after 4 months? I don't know that answer for myself. Can you please help me figure it out? It would mean the world to me. Well, I'm going to go blog on my other blogs.
Bye!

Part of my day.

More testing today, I'm sure I did good... I was the first one done today, it was writing. I stayed after school today to hang out with my boyfriend, he didn't stay though... Some people think that we need to sleep together already but I don't know. Hearts break that way. Anyway, today me and a group of my friends were at the park. Me and my little brother Terry played tether ball. I won three times and he won once. I got to go for now. I hope you enjoy reading my blog. :)

My song!

Josie!

Josie is one of my best friends! I don't know how I could survive treatment without her!! She's amazing. She's such a dork too! Like today, we were driving and she had her window rolled down and this boy that was walking on the sidewalk made this really freaking funny face and it made me laugh my butt off! I don't think she even realized she was making a face! Haha that's what makes it funnier. I missed her though. We just got out of a BIG fight and I don't think we'll ever be the same. I want us to though. It's just hard to know what other people really want you know? But I also know that we're trying. I can sometimes since that she misses it too.  I hope that life for me and her go really well you know? She deserves it just as much as me and more than most people. I hope she knows what a great friend she it to me. Sometimes when I see her sad, I wanna cry for her. Like take her pain away because I know she doesn't deserve to feel it you know? I really wish she did. When she's sad, she just sits there and doesn't talk... I wanna tell her everything will be okay. When she cry's, I wanna wipe her tears away. When she's mad I wanna hold her hand and rub her back and tell her again that I'm here and everything's going to be okay.Josie is BEAUTIFUL! I want her to know that. I also want her to know that I really want that carbonated Dr. Pepper! I want her to know I really want us to go back to the way we were before all of that stupid crap that went down. I want her to know how amazing we were and how amazing we can be. Josie I love you! Love me, Luarissa. <3

Rissa & Monkey forever!

JennyGirl!

Somtimes, you just have to SMILE! Because we all know, everything is going to be okay. Somtimes you just have to LOVE! Because we know, that whatever people do to us, we're still US! I personaly believe that EVERYTHING will be just GREAT in the long run. We meet people on our lives that piss us off. We meet people that are scared to be who they really wanna be. We meet people that we love with everything we have. Most of us, are co dependant. Thats not a bad thing but sometimes people take it to far. I am very Independant but I'm also co dependant. I think to have both is amazing. There is this one girl I go to school with and we're so oppisite but yet, we're so alike. Cool aint it? Her name is Jenny. I do love her because she's my friend, but we don't hang out as much as I want to. Sometimes, I wish I was normal, I am normal but I'm sadly in treatment. I'm smiling now, while typing this because she's sitting next to me. I smell her rasberry zinger and I can tell you that just by smelling it, who she is. She's everywhere yet nowhere.she's funny yet not. She's very smart but at the same time not! :p Her laugh totally belongs to her voice, and personality. I love everybody for who they are because they are  a person and I know that there is not a single person out there like another. I know Jenny's in my life for a reason. My quest is to find out why. So I'm going to go do that now, Blog 'ya later!

Family!

Right now, I'm making cake with my best friend and foster family! Its super fun and makes me feel like a part of the family. Today, when they were in church, my little foster brother, he's three, drew a picture of his family,  I'm in that picture. I haven't officially moved in and I wont until three more weeks. Knowing he thinks I'm part of the family makes me feel A LOT better. Wouldn't you? I love him already and he makes me feel like i've always been here. Its an amazing feeling I get from him. Today, I get me and him matching balloons, he loves them. Thats enough for now, I have a cake to finish making! :) <3

Family?

Being 15 and being in Foster care is kinda sad. I love my foster family so far, but I do miss my family. Being at their house is AMAING, but its not like home. I hope to make this my home, soon, because it does feel like my house already but not in the same way.

Classes. pt.2

Classes are great but the sucky thing is that when your ONE teacher wants to do something you don't, you're still required to go. Like tomorrow, we have a meeting we have to go to that involves the Natives here in Sitka, and I really don't want to go but I have to because its a grade. But I love school, yes I'm a drop out but I do love school. My favorite teacher is the one making us go so I hope she does make it fun.
What class means at PHS!-
Clowning around
Loving everybody
Active and Educational
Successful
Satisfying in so many odd ways.
I love my school, and everybody in it. The Classes are so worth the boring meetings.

Classes.

Sitting in class with my best friend learning to program for the first time. Any of you ever heard of Linex? I haven't either. I Know about it now. It's really cool to program on. I've never done programming before either. I hope its easy to use. One of the best thigns about my school is that we only have 2 classes a session. Awesome, I know. I wanna know about some of the classes y'all are in. :)

Applying

Applying to a job in Sitka Alaska is hard for a new job member lol....

I miss you

I thought our friendship was going really well, I guess I was wrong. Before she came, we we're happy. But now its like I've lost you. I've tried talking to you. I've tried talking to staff. You were such a great friend. I told you like everything. You've told me everything. I just don't understand you anymore. I don't know you feel about me anymore but I miss what we had. You made me happy and now, every time I see you I feel as if you hate me. If i did anything wrong I want to know. I miss how you would laugh at my really stupid jokes. I also miss you sitting next to me every night at dinner. We're roommates but you feel Galaxy's away from me. I see you and you seem so happy, do I look that happy? Don't get me wrong I have a lot of things to be happy about but its also killing me because we were so close. That's all I'm really going to say now. Just know, how much I miss you. and How much I love you. And seeing you sit there like I don't exists really hurts a spot i never felt before.

Just Getting Started

  The pain of being a teenager really sucks. I mean you have the whole puberty, the "who likes who", and the whole "Fitting in" thing. I mean really? Is it really worth going through the pain? I honestly don't know that answer myself. You have kids like me, who are not "bad" but aren't exactly "good" either. I am in treatment. But I'm still not bad. I'm a good person really. I have just made some bad mistakes over my short life time. Then you have the really good kids. The ones that don't get in trouble. What I really don't get is friendships. Friends are meaning full. They are really, but its not always a healthy thing. To me, almost EVERYTHING is like politics. If you think this is bad, then your wrong. I'm really just getting started.